If you are wondering why the title of this article is discipline, you are probably not alone. You may be wondering, "What does discipline have to do with being a cost-effective bride?" My answer? Everything.

Discipline has everything to do with being a cost- effective bride. You cannot be one without it. Without discipline, you will lack the strength to say, "no." Without discipline, you cannot draw the line. Without discipline it is easy to forget your intentions. Without discipline, you may end up paying for your wedding with a credit card - and that......is not a good idea.

Without going deeply into why that is not a good idea, just let me say that a large percentage of divorces are attributed to financial difficulties. You do not want to begin your commitment in debt, nor do you want to be able attribute your debt to your beginning. So let's start out on the right foot, with discipline.

Pull out that budget that you have written down or typed up, and take a good look at it. I truly hope that you and your fiancé have agreed completely on everything on your budget, as well as both sets of your parents. Financial communication is also going to be a key to your marriage and this is great practice! If you haven't shared your budget with your fiancé, now is the time to do so.

Once you have agreed on your budget, you both need to take a long, hard look at it. Almost to the point of memorizing it. Before you can hit the stores or make further decisions, you need to get to know your budget. Become good friends with it, because it is going to be with you through the coming months.

Now that you have a good idea of what your budget is and what it is all about, you can begin making some big decisions. Are you going to have a formal wedding, an informal wedding, a blend, a Friday wedding, Saturday wedding, etc.? No matter what, when making these decisions - stick to the budget.

Here is the discipline part: So...you are at Le Bridal Gown Shoppe, you have set a budget of $500 for your wedding gown, do you?

1. Immediately ask to try on the gown in the window
2. Head to the clearance rack
3. Tell the store attendant that you are looking to spend between $200-400 on your gown

Which is the correct answer? Well, if you were to ask me, I would say "c" - the gown in the window, while beautiful, is probably the most expensive gown in the store, and the clearance rack, though inexpensive, may have problems with some of the gowns. No matter what, the worst thing you can do is try on 10 dresses without looking at the prices and then having your whole bridal entourage cry when they see you in that "perfect gown", only to find out that the "perfect gown" costs $3000! Your heart will be broken, and we don't want broken hearts. So, spare yourself the anxiety, and only try on dresses that are in your price range.

The same goes for everything else. Don't even look at something unless it is in your price range! Discipline. You can do it! Of course, there are exceptions to every rule, and I will make some for this one. For example, you have given yourself a budget of $30 for shoes for your wedding day. You go to four stores and find that the only pair of shoes that will look okay with your dress are $35 and very uncomfortable. On the other hand, you did find a pair of beautiful shoes, perfect for your dress, and very comfortable for $75. Is it worth it to go $45 over your budget (remember, that's twice what you budgeted!) for the beauty and comfort? Talk to the key money players for your wedding and see what they have to say. My guess is that all will agree - it's worth it! You don't want blisters on your wedding day - there are cases where sensibility is more important than money. Use your common sense, and talk it over with your fiancé and parents when these situations arise.

But, here is another key to these situations. You are inevitably going to be put into pressure situations when you have to make an instant decision on whether or not to do something. Whatever the situation, you are not going to have a chance to talk it over with your fiancé. In cases like this, if it is only a few dollars and it brings a ton of happiness, then it is probably okay. However, if we are talking $50 or more (maybe even less!) then no matter what the situation, you need to wait! Do not make a hasty decision - you will regret it.

And always remember - if something sounds too good to be true, it probably is. Don't fall into this trap. There are a lot of great people out there who want to help you out and see you have the best, but there are also those who know what a state of ecstasy and obliviousness you are in and will try to take advantage of that. Wedding retailers have been known for the scams that they pull. So, be careful.

Finally, here is the last trap that I want to warn you not to fall into - I call it the "Out the Window" trap. This is what happens when you write that check for $3000 for the reception hall and then are at the dress store and see a gown for $1000 - you think that is cheap compared to the check you just wrote! And you begin to throw your money out the window. It is so easy to spend money once you are in the habit of it. Watch out, don't make it a habit. Think it through and stick to the budget!

Good luck to you! Have fun planning and remember - stick to the budget! Till next time...

Sincerely,
Kelly Kons, kelly@bwedd.com
http://www.Bwedd.com/TrueCompanions/