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  T H E   C O S T   E F F E C T I V E   B R I D E

  Vol 2, No. 1                    April 23, 2001

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Kelly Kons, Editor, kelly@bwedd.com

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The Cost-Effective Bride \ Kós-te-'fek-tiv Brid \  n.
(2001):  The about-to-be-married woman that desires the
tangible, emotional, and memorable benefits of her
wedding to outweigh the money and time spent on
producing those benefits.  She is both elegant and fun,
emotional and sensible.  She understands that more
expensive does not necessarily equal better.  She is
you.

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                 FEATURED ARTICLE
	WHY YOUR WEDDING BUDGET IS IMPORTANT



You have probably seen plastered in bridal magazines,
books, and websites those bridal planners that tell you
what you need to be doing up until the last moment
before your wedding.  What is one of the first things
that they always mention?

Write down your wedding budget.

Now, this seems like a HUGE hassle, and very
complicated - especially since it is hard to ask each
of your parents if they plan on helping you out in any
way, and then figuring out who is going to pay for
what.  Inevitably, this is probably going to lead to
someone being offended, either because they cannot give
as much money, because they want to give more money, or
because they have a specific thing they want to give
money towards that was not within your plans.  Sound
familiar?

Well, even though this is a dreaded task, take it from
me - You need to do this!  Even if you know that you
are paying for the wedding completely by yourselves,
it is still important to write down your wedding
budget.

Why?  There are several reasons why you should do this.
The first is that it is important to get all of these
issues out in the open right away.  For instance, it is
better to find out right away that your fiancé's
parents have a friend who owns a flower shop and they
are expecting you to order your flowers there, rather
than hearing through the grapevine that they are going
to pay for the flowers, ordering them from a shop that
you like and then later finding out that the money was
contingent upon ordering the flowers from this
particular shop.  If you are armed with knowledge, you
are more capable of making decisions. (Brides out
there: you know, right?  Send me your stories about
this sort of thing!  I want to share your experiences
with our readers!  kelly@bwedd.com)

Second, this will force you to plan from the very
beginning what large expenses you are going to have in
the coming months.  This will give you a bigger-picture
mentality and it will be easier for you to prepare for
these expenses, and for your wedding in general.

Third, the act of writing down your budget is very
important because it gives you something concrete to
refer to.  If you do not have a budget, I guarantee you
will go over budget.  In the same way, if you do not
write down your budget, you will also go over budget.
When you see the beautiful cake that you could have for
$1000 and then you look at your budget and see that you
and your fiancé agreed to only spend $500, you will be
more likely to keep your wits about you and say no to
the more expensive cake, or to not even look at any
cakes over $500.  And this is a good exercise to go
through.  The more times you throw your budget out the
window, the more you will continue to do so.

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So, are you convinced that writing down your budget is
important?  If so, you are ready to sit down and do so.
And, this is a very delicate matter.  Here is how I
would do it, if I could do it all over again:

First, I would sit down with my fiancé and try to
discuss as many aspects about the wedding as possible.
"I was hoping to have a string trio at the ceremony" or
"It's very important to me that I wear my mother's
wedding dress."  If you are both on the same page, and
are aware of each others thoughts and feelings, it is
less likely that either of you will regret something
you say to your parents later.  It may help you to have
a wedding planning book in front of you to help you to
cover as many aspects of the wedding as possible.  More
than likely, your wedding is still 6 months to 1 year
away if you are in the budget planning stage, and it
can be hard to think so far ahead about so many tiny
details.  Try, but don't drive yourself crazy trying to
cover everything.  Just do the best you can.

After you have discussed your hopes and dreams for your
wedding with your fiancé, arrange for a time to meet
with both sets of parents together - do this whether
you think they are going to help pay, or not. (Even if
you are paying, they need to be aware that you have a
limited budget and cannot be expected to pay for 500
guests, etc.)  Your parents need to know what is going
on. Misinformation is your enemy.  Do not, however,
invite friends and siblings to this meeting (unless
they are helping to pay) - make it as simplistic as
possible.  And when inviting your parents to the
meeting, make sure they are aware that the purpose of
the meeting is to discuss your wedding, and
specifically the budget.

Now, the tricky part. Depending on your personalities
and those of your parents, each of your meetings will
be different.  Some of your parents will say you get X
amount of money for whatever you want.  Some will say
they will pay for the flowers, the cake, and the DJ and
then give you a limit for each.  Many of your parents
will be stubborn, and many insistent that you do this
or that.  If you and your fiancé had a good discussion
before the meeting, then you should be ready for almost
anything that comes your way (and you may be surprised
at what comes your way).  The key is honesty.  Remember
that.  You may find it difficult, but you need to be
honest about what you are hoping or not hoping for.

Well, that is all I have for PART I (Why Your Wedding
Budget is Important).  In two weeks, I will have more
for you on your wedding budget, including advice on how
to come up with the numbers and figures.

As always, I hope that all is going well with your
planning!  And please share your planning stories with
me, so that together we can help more brides.


Sincerely,
Kelly Kons, Editor
http://www.bwedd.com/truecompanions/default.asp?p=ceb8d

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** Do you have questions about this or past articles?
Please drop me a line.  I would love to hear from you
and help you out in any way I can! **

- Kelly Kons, Editor
kelly@bwedd.com

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